I was there

Uncategorized 1 Minute

I actually gave you permission to ignore me

To forget that I was there

But I was

I was the force behind the accolades, but I gave them away because I did not believe I needed them

I lit the light bulb over your head

But somehow it turned dark when it came to seeing me

I lit the flame and sparked ideas that turned into brilliant dreams come true

Yet, somehow, I was not included in the waking moments

I was the wind that blew the sails, but no one remembers the wind,

The boat believes that it sailed on its own

And when the day comes for a simple moment of acknowledgment,

Of my partnership, my participation, my days spent fending for myself to allow for the better good

I am not considered

I am the dried leaves that have scattered, forgotten, and become unrecognizable

I am the snow that was plowed away as its pristine beauty fades with wear

All I needed was to be considered

To be remembered

However, the flurry of excitement hid my needs away

Only I knew who I am, who I was, I suppose that matters

Tiny hands knew I was there, little feet running towards the security and safety of my arms

This is indeed what I carry as I live the last chapters of my time on Earth

And maybe, perhaps someone, possibly even you, saw me

Standing in the darkness, smiling at what became of the seeds I sowed

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Published by droppingcrayons

I am an educator, parent, disabilities advocate, published writer, autism mom, soccer mom, band mom, drama mom, scout mom, choir mom, nursing student mom, Coach's wife, a former PTA President as well School Leadership Team Member. I hold a Bachelor of Arts in Early Childhood Education, a Master of Science in Elementary Education, Several Graduate Level credits above my Master's Degree in Special Education, a minor in English Literature and Journalism. I hold permanent New York State Education Certification. I have a lower-level certificate in Meditation and currently pursuing a full certification in Mediation Training for students. Meditation and Mindfulness are my focus. I am also studying to be a Life Coach and have been setting up my own Parent Empowerment Business. I have written several other blogs, most notably a blog which mostly focuses on Education and raising a child on the spectrum. I am married for over 31 years to my best friend, partner, and soulmate. We have three children who are no longer children. Our eldest in on the Autism Spectrum and this has laid the foundation for the type of family we are which in many cases is rather unique. Our son has excelled although he has and continues to face many challenges in a world that do not accept differences. Our second child is a Registered Nurse, an Eagle Scout, who has played soccer and basketball. His best quality is his ability to make us all laugh no matter what. Our youngest is an amazing young woman who I hope to empower to be whatever she wants to be in life. She is a musician, works in a science camp, held lead roles in her HS musicals, sings beautifully, has been a soccer goalie, a girl scout, and played basketball like her father and brother. She is pursuing a degree in Music and Composition. She plays 7 instruments in addition to singing. I am a former PTA President of my daughter's High School which is laughable since in all my years of parenting I only started going to PTA meetings while my youngest child was in High School. Let's says I jumped in the pool with both feet. Dropping Crayons is my life. I have spent my life kicking the remains of whatever I dropped on the floor around me as I scurry through life barely remembering what I have to do next since what I really want to do is sit by a lake and watch the beautiful colors of a mountain sunset..(note my site photo) I felt inadequate all through grade school and High School. It was not until college where I found some freedom to be different and to be me. My heart breaks for all of the years I sat depressed and wishing I was anyone but me. Not able to focus, to get out what I wanted to say to the world. Then it happened to my child. That woke me up to the world. It made me want to help and maybe save someone else. "It is better to light just one little candle than to stumble in the dark."

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